(ii) Santa’s Recent Financial Status

After the fall of the Berlin Wall, Claus’ fortunes changed dramatically. Figures released in 1992, referred to as Dossier 2Q state that a group of bankers with links to the Carlyle Group and other members of the Indy 4000 show that the place of Lapland on The World FTSE Index is a result of fraudulent information. These unearthed reports show that Lapland has been operating at a six billion trillion debt and had gained no profit in the last ten years. It looked like the game was up for Claus. Administrators were closing in and he had to take prompt evasive action.

Fortuitously in 1993 the International Monetary Fund (IMF) opened up Africa to free trade. Not one to miss a trick Claus set the wheels in motion devising a plan to strip African nations of their resources and thus return his fortune to its former glory.

Claus, along with IMF economists, set about drawing up an economic plan for failing African nations. Firstly they approached the highly corrupt and impressionable Rwandan president Kalharri proposing to him he sell off his country’s mineral and diamond resources for a song: a personal 10% commission paid into a Swiss bank account they had set up for him.

When this was secured the country was opened for speculators to invest in real estate and currency. But when Claus employed the services of special forces mercenaries to stoke civil war in the region investors fled with their money leaving interest rates sleighing the stratosphere. This allowed Claus to buy up what remained of Rwandan land and resources for next to nothing. Claus performed his coup de grace then, controlling the import of food and using his mercenaries to destroy the water board infrastructure. The majority of the country was pushed into a state of complete impoverishment. He then picked off the remaining assets, including the lucrative Rwandan diamond mines.

These evil manoeuvrings by Claus were replicated throughout Africa and Southern Asia mainly in Indonesia and Thailand. By the end of the 1990’s Claus’ bank balance was back to their bloated dimensions.

(iii) Santa’s Involvement with the International Drugs Trade

The war in Afghanistan provided Claus with a further opportunity to supplement his now extensive portfolio. Opium production in the Afghan poppy fields increased threefold since the NATO invasion. Evidence emerged that the CIA and MI6 are actively using allied troops to protect these opium crops, despite western governments’ pledges the activity would be severely curtailed. The fingerprints of Claus once again appeared, implicating him in the export of refined heroin onto the streets of Europe and North America.

Claus’ operations in Afghanistan has startling parallels with the Iran Contra Scandal of the early ‘80s. By utilising his contacts in the CIA, Claus set about employing a number of methods to transport refined heroin and cocaine into America and Europe. Many elf mules ingesting wraps of heroin were sent to meet with drug wholesalers in the US including Freeway Ricky Ross Jr., the son of the notorious drug runner of the same name. The use of elves in the 'ice runs' proved to be too risky, usually due to the packages bursting inside their bodies causing instant death and/or prolonged periods of induced mania. One tragic example of this was the incident involving American Airlines Flight 766 where a drug crazed child elf took over the controls in the cockpit and crashed said jumbo jet into an Bangladeshi orphanage. With incidents like this raising attention, Santa brought his reindeers in from pasture and for a while delivered the packages himself. This exercise however brought more undue attention in the media and alternative news websites, such as Prison Planet. Sightings of his sleigh in June led to speculation on what Claus was doing - eventually getting close to the truth of his heroin trafficking.

Santa: A Brief History of Crime

The currency of competing intel' agencies is blackmail and subterfuge. No type of blackmail is more valuable and effective in the right hands than sex blackmail. In 1943 the compromising of Claus by the Office of Strategic Services (OSS) using sex blackmail, set him on a 50 year journey of deep espionage and state sabotage, that would see even his conscience pricked on more than one occasion.

At the time Claus was heavily involved in the Thule Society after it had been revived by founder Walter Nauhaus. It was Nauhaus who saw the publicity that would be generated by the recruitment of Claus as a member, and Claus took on his role within the society with much gusto. It was he who reiterated the origins of the word 'Thule' and referenced ancient Greek poet Virgil who cited Thule as being 'a land located...in the furthest north' now seen as Scandinavia.

In 1942 Claus along with members of the society led an expedition to the fabled land of Hyperboria (of which Thule is said to be the capital), along with members of the Nazi party. He later played host to Rudolf Hess, Hans Frank and Josef Mengle in his palatial house in Lapland. It is believed by many that Claus' favourite reindeer was named Rudolf after Hess, who also took a shine to him.

It was at this shindig that Claus permitted Mengle to carry out rudimentary mind control tricks on his elves, a parlour trick which quickly descended into a vicious homoerotic orgy led by some of the more violent and predatory Nazi homosexuals of the group. But also among the group was an OSS double agent who documented the debasement of the elves with a concealed camera. Months later this evidence was presented to Claus, and he was informed that if he did not comply with the instructions of Allied intel' networks he would be brought up at the Nuremberg trials and accused of Nazi collaboration. Claus' options were thus limited and he gave the Allies all the intelligence they needed on top secret Nazi programmes that were being run out of Lapland, including locations and personnel involved. Many retired MI-6 agents now acknowledge the role Claus' information played in ending World War 2.


After WW2, Lapland was ceded into the Soviet Union. Santa's deals with IBM, the Union Banking Corporation and Prescott Sheldon Bush made him so rich that only Iceland concerned him in the geographical power struggle. He kept trolls as allies but set them to war with the elves. This allowed him to greater levy provision of protectionism in exchange for their labour. Claus thereafter remained on the periphery of the Cold War occasionally feeding the west with intel’ on the USSR’s nuclear capabilities and, on Christmas Eve dropping pro-western literature over East Berlin.

His journey from the Cold War era until the modern day post-Neoconservative world is dealt with in following sections of this report, notably in the section on Santa's cartel. To write about it here all over again would be a bit bloody stupid and a waste of everyone's time now wouldn't it?


Bibliography

Curtis, A. (2007) St. Nicholas and the Nazis: From Santa to Swastikas, BBC

Daniels, J. (1973) Santa, Capone and Chicago's Bootlegging Legacy, Bargain Books

Jones, A. (1997) TerrorClaus: A Secret History of Santa Claus' War Crimes and Banking Crimes and What he plans for the 21st Century from the heart of his Global Elite Lapland Fortress Investigation That Will Shock In My New Unique Film, InfoWars Films

Section III: Santa Claus' Links With Secret Societies, Intel' Networks and International Drug Runners

(i) A Brief History of Crime

It was said by Robert Anton Wilson that the history of the world is really the history of the war between secret of societies. Or words to that effect.

A man who has oft involved himself in every aspect of this war is Santa Nicholas Claus. From garnering intelligence on the Communist empire of the USSR during the Cold War to being implicitly involved in the Kennedy assassination, Claus' hands are stained with the blood of thousands of intel' agents, political dissidents and heads of states from every corner of the earth.

The first recorded image of Santa appeared in 1881's Punch. In a feature by Thomas Nast who covered the end of the first Boer War, a photo appears clearly showing a bedraggled Claus dressed in a muddy torn poncho carrying armaments and a dead baby, which he appears to have taken a bite out of. The child’s entrails can be seen hanging from Claus’s mouth – and his already impressive beard appears to be matted with blood.

Reports subsequently surfaced of Claus and his entourage abducting young tribal children around the Cape Colony area and Kimberly. Some children’s bodies were found severely mutilated, while other children simply disappeared, never to be heard of again. While there are many theories as to why Claus involved himself in the first Boer War, no one can say with any certainty what his real motivations for being there were.

In the trenches of World War One, the historic football game of Christmas 1914 was replaced by a foggy phantasm of Santa's spectre delivering death in the form of shiny rocket baubles. The traditional image of White Rock beverages in 1915 was used by Santa to sell mineral water, then associating his image with ginger ale in 1923. During the onset of the prohibition law, Nicholas also took part in supplying illegal liquor to the racketeers. He gave Al Capone his famous scar when the gangster sought to cut him out of distribution rights for the beverages. In co-operation with Russian Intelligence Services we have learnt of suspicions that Nicholas was linked to smearing the first British Labour Government of 1924 with turkey fat. A recently unearthed diary of Ivanelf confirms these actions grew from a drunken rage over then premier Lloyd George's incessant harping for the New Years Honours List. The wishlist arrived at Lapland, forwarded by Timothy Lincoln and Maundy Gregory, although intended for The Queen. Agitated by Zinovieff's Christmas list which he had received on the same day, Nicholas cut and pasted the collection into a letter which he then sent to the British Foreign Office.

(iii) Claus' Contravention of Child Labour Laws

The imagery of the red shoe accompanying Santa everywhere is a violent reminder to slaves that the workplace is under his control. Its also indicative of a man with a serious foot fetish. If rumour is to be believed it was once used against him during an assassination plot when he was given as a gift a dynamite slipper. The attempt failed as the measurements were too wide and straight at the top.

One of the main areas where Claus breaks child labour laws concerns his drafting of children and child elves to manufacture his toys in workshops. Sources inform us that massive backlogs occur most years due to the unreliability of Santa’s global research and development teams tasked with making predictions on the next big toy craze. These incorrect predictions cause a rush to produce the actual popular toys and require hurried recruitment and training of infant elves. Claus pulled strings with His sources in the Chinese government to outsource to Beijing sweatshops, where children are also employed in appalling conditions. These conditions are replicated in Claus’s own toy workshops where child elves are required to work 48 hour shifts, often without breaks. They are fed once within each 24hr period. Due to their extremely slow metabolism they can function on this meagre sustenance and complete their work. Close exposure in handling these toxic lead toys apparently lead to painless deaths within six months to a year. Disabled children in the Third World are not so lucky.

Santa's eugenicist agenda is further revealed in the summary executions carried out on a daily basis in His workshops – with the weakest elf child usually the main fatality. It has been reported that other elf children are tasked with carrying out the executions with many instances of one child elf having to kill a brother or sister. Eyewitness reports convey this is done by hand, grinding lumps from coal stocks into their skinny green faces.

(ii) Geoccultography

One source has it that Santa is also known as Nicholas Van Scrag, a noted child catcher, banned from the Austro-Hungarian Empire after the position was outlawed by a Pro-Life group close to Joseph II.

During the pacification of Santafarian imagery, the postcode H0H 0H0 was affixed to the Canadian residence in the North Pole. In the code of The Order of the Golden Dawn this translates as "Fox Noose scream Obey Oh". The original postcode translated by the same system as "Granny's knitted purse". This was apparently the cause of some embarrassment to the 33rd degree mason at White Lodge meetings. The region was acquired by the Claus dynasty who according to Joscelyn Goodwin in Arktos, The Polar Myth thought it to be an "esoteric archetype of spiritual purity and transcendence". Henry Corbin notes the primary residence's place in Sufism and Iranian Mysticism. Mount Qaf, at the centre of this region, "whose ascent, like Dante's climbing of the Mountain of Purgatory, represents the pilgrim's progress." In Iranian philosophy, "places ablaze with immaterial matter". These aspects are utilised in the notorious meetings of The Hyperborean Group, made up of global elites which elect "the real one" every fifty years.

Despite this, black ops strikes were launched earlier this year, though proved futile given the harsh terrain and risks incurred in triggering Claus' attention. Among the rumours of Santa's current location, Tibet resurfaces for similar reasons as above. The Foreign Office could not confirm or deny the region's hierarchical position in the occultist's mindset. However, one of our sources did speak of Claus' interests in deposing Saturnalia and the other old gods who held major investments in cycles.


Bibliography

Corbin, H. (1998) Alone with the Alone, Princeton University Press

Section II Sex Crimes Of Santa Nicolas Claus – Including Contravention Of Child Labour Laws and Claus’ Link To Occult Child Murder Rituals

(i) The Claus Link To Occult Child Murder Rituals

While many in the West consider Santa Claus to be a figure of fun, bringing cheer and happiness to countless children across the world, a more sinister aspect of His conduct toward some children belie this generally accepted impression of Him.

December 5th is known among elite circles as ‘Santa Day’. Many reliable sources report incidences of child abduction increase two-fold across the world towards this date, with the safe return of said children being almost nonexistent. It is our belief that these abducted children are used by Claus and his cabal as sacrificial offerings to the ‘anti-Santa’ Krampus. According to folklore he is an incubus demon who travels the world warning ‘bad’ children they will not receive any presents from Santa if they do not mend their ways. Insider elves inform us that on the stroke of midnight between December 4th and 5th, Claus and three high Satanic priestesses lay out seven heavily drugged children on sacrificial alters, cutting their throats. When this is completed the bodies of the children are hung upside down and bowls are placed underneath to collect the blood that empties from their entrails. Santa and the priestesses then strip naked and elf slaves are required to smear the blood all over their bodies. According to some of these former elf slaves it is at this point the demon Krampus materialises. The priestesses and Claus bow in front of the demon entity and request that it go out into the world and inform ‘bad’ children to modify their behaviour. Finally they bring the remaining bowlfuls of blood to Krampus who imbibes hungrily. Aleistar Crowley propagated the theory that the blood of traumatised children is rich in magickal power, and so the high priestesses and Claus try and terrify the children as much as they can before killing them.

The rest of the abducted children who were not used in the sacrifice are shipped to the four corners of the world to be used as sex slaves by famous paedophiles, including, but not limited to, Cliff Richard and Paul Daniels. It is reported that Claus charges a premium rate for these children and the funds he accrues from this trafficking he invests into shares in weapons manufacturers and bribing members of the worldwide Israeli lobby (see Section III).

The day following the sacrifice is also known as 'St. Nicholas Day', which many religious scholars understand to be an inversion of the Christian Holy Communion. Obtained samples of the food (including mince pies) and refreshments (including sherry) examined by scientists confirm that traces of human materials (blood, saliva, DNA) were found. We can assume that the bodies of some of the abducted children are used in the manufacture of this food and unsubstantiated reports from elves working in Claus’ kitchens say that the children's cadavers are ground up and added to the mince pies etc.

The date is traditionally accompanied by global food shortages and riots. Food is well placed as occult symbolism psychologically employed by the Santa elite moving closer to Christmas. According to the 1688 incantations reprinted in The Feast of St. Nicholas and Jesus Last Supper: Parallels of War in Religion, Region and Culture, brownies and marzipan figurines are utilised by Him in the practice of voodoo. Unholy purpose sought in evocation rituals involves Milk and cookies embodying the symbolism of sperm and eggs in a creationist ritual.

(iv) Santa and The Environmental Movement

Common belief holds Santa to be a resident of Greenland, though this in fact a recent mistake. Misidentifying the regions is an outcome of consciousness manipulation in Claus' revisionist stratagem, tying his operations into the current fashion for all things 'Green'.

Together with Piter Mandelson, Nicholas Claus has been involved in smears against the Green Party, preventing them from securing a political foothold. Documented fact of the BNP's racism correlates with Santa's anti-Semitism and refusal to employ jewish elves. By rigging the BNP's rise to power, Mandelson and Claus seek to subvert contrasts in fringe party politics and reinforce the two-party system perception. Also, hes a right cunt inni. Cutting off organised Green politics movements and delivering them to obscurity, they were then be free to co-opt Green themes into their own agendas.

Intel shows us that this has already begun. Santa's links with Al Gore and the so-called global warming movement divert attention away from the smoking gun: Project Whitewater. Gore's stocks and shares in TRON Technologies funded their use of fusion reactors to melt polar icecaps. This also involved propane and propane accessories and the removal of Antarctica's Mount Walton was the first casualty. At Gore's behest, Santa took global water levels to a new precedent. As a cover, He doctored photos of Galactus, Unicron and Thor using the Earth as a football and placed them at the scene. Mr. Werther's original study concluded, "Because of deforestation, there are no trees in the Antarctic, but the weight of evidence suggests there never were."

At LapTech Labs, Santa's agent provocateur Bea Campbell aided by ex-doctor David Southall, developed a hypodermic needle allowing for injection of tomatoes into any printing press. This explains why the Green Party has celebrated the arrival of Campbell in their ranks. As a Santaist, it is suspected her allegiance will knock a powerful blow to the party's chances. The General British public regard her as an immoral scapegoating fibber and molester of adults. To a lesser extent, Greens have been manipulated away from global issues, splitting their ranks. Spokesperson George Monbiot was manipulated during a heavy dose of constipation by Santa, into believing he had a large bomb in his belly. This would be triggered on his visit to one of the planet's more beautiful landscapes if he did not speak out against the 9/11 Truth Movement. The lie was revealed shortly after Monbiot ingested some high fibre apricots, but by then the damage had been done.

References
Daniels, J. (1973) Santa, Capone and Chicago's Bootlegging Legacy, Bargain Books
Curtis, A. (2007) St. Nicholas and the Nazis: From Santa to Swastikas, BBC