Wednesday, 9 December 2009

(iii) Santa and The Entertainment Industry

Case Study: Tom and Jerry

In the 1950s, Santa returned West and began pursuing his agenda through a new medium, television. He seduced the children of William Hanna with Coca-Cola 'fixes' and threatened to disclose this to the FBI. Hanna and Barbera were thus blackmailed into making a cartoon which represented His own take on sex and relationships. The result was Tom and Jerry. On the surface it seemed a harmless cartoon where the prey got the upper hand against its predator. In fact it represents Jerry as an overtly homosexual mouse with sadist transvestite sex drives. Unable to form normal relationships, he seeks sex with a cat called Tom, in appearance a devoutly heterosexual male, but in fact a closet homosexual. Unable and unwilling to express his true sexuality, he resorts to violence towards Jerry. The mouse is compliant while Tom gives release to his masochistic side, sharing in the dominant-submissive cycle in receiving violence at the end of every cartoon. This is the only way he can get an erection, as Hanna/Barbara later admitted before the Senate Subcommittee on Juvenile Delinquency. The content of these shows were to lead to sweeping censorship laws of comics and animation which would last four decades. The content of these shows, scripted by Santa himself, are telling clues in His relationship with his wife and children in His charge.

Celebrity links

Through the years Santa has cultivated a number of deals with Hollywood to promote retroactive continuity of a kindly image. However, behind the scenes these links within the world of the arts celebrity have had dire consequences. Santa drove Karen Carpenter to weight loss and unsubstantiated insinuations persist that he molested singer Bjork when she was a child. The Obama administration has exhumed the records of John Wayne, a personal friend of Claus for clues.

Mick Jagger was an acolyte, and as odes to Grandfather Frost composed 'Sympathy for the Devil', and named an album "Their Santanic Majesties Request", misspelt by Decca Records as 'Satanic'. Santa was furious with Belzeebub over the incident and bound and exiled him to a fictional dimension where he was known as Ross Kemp. When movie star Harrison Ford stumbled upon Claus' contacts in the Reagan White House, he had him frozen in a Lapland vault and replaced with an impostor.

His friendship with Rupert Murdoch and ownership of shares in Fox and CNN have facilitated maintaining power and control in recent times. Doctor Who producer Russell T. Davies has been cleared recently of the charges against him of partaking in Santa's bizarre orgies involving satyrs (half-men, half-goats). Simon Cowell and Louis Walsh are still under investigation, particularly since the photographs of Cowell in a beard and spectacles disguise emerged. The late Johnny Cash, whose ditty "Folsom Prison Blues" alludes to the singer's previous assasination attempt on Nicholas, is being decoded for intelligence purposes.