(iv) Santa and The Environmental Movement

Common belief holds Santa to be a resident of Greenland, though this in fact a recent mistake. Misidentifying the regions is an outcome of consciousness manipulation in Claus' revisionist stratagem, tying his operations into the current fashion for all things 'Green'.

Together with Piter Mandelson, Nicholas Claus has been involved in smears against the Green Party, preventing them from securing a political foothold. Documented fact of the BNP's racism correlates with Santa's anti-Semitism and refusal to employ jewish elves. By rigging the BNP's rise to power, Mandelson and Claus seek to subvert contrasts in fringe party politics and reinforce the two-party system perception. Also, hes a right cunt inni. Cutting off organised Green politics movements and delivering them to obscurity, they were then be free to co-opt Green themes into their own agendas.

Intel shows us that this has already begun. Santa's links with Al Gore and the so-called global warming movement divert attention away from the smoking gun: Project Whitewater. Gore's stocks and shares in TRON Technologies funded their use of fusion reactors to melt polar icecaps. This also involved propane and propane accessories and the removal of Antarctica's Mount Walton was the first casualty. At Gore's behest, Santa took global water levels to a new precedent. As a cover, He doctored photos of Galactus, Unicron and Thor using the Earth as a football and placed them at the scene. Mr. Werther's original study concluded, "Because of deforestation, there are no trees in the Antarctic, but the weight of evidence suggests there never were."

At LapTech Labs, Santa's agent provocateur Bea Campbell aided by ex-doctor David Southall, developed a hypodermic needle allowing for injection of tomatoes into any printing press. This explains why the Green Party has celebrated the arrival of Campbell in their ranks. As a Santaist, it is suspected her allegiance will knock a powerful blow to the party's chances. The General British public regard her as an immoral scapegoating fibber and molester of adults. To a lesser extent, Greens have been manipulated away from global issues, splitting their ranks. Spokesperson George Monbiot was manipulated during a heavy dose of constipation by Santa, into believing he had a large bomb in his belly. This would be triggered on his visit to one of the planet's more beautiful landscapes if he did not speak out against the 9/11 Truth Movement. The lie was revealed shortly after Monbiot ingested some high fibre apricots, but by then the damage had been done.

References
Daniels, J. (1973) Santa, Capone and Chicago's Bootlegging Legacy, Bargain Books
Curtis, A. (2007) St. Nicholas and the Nazis: From Santa to Swastikas, BBC