Friday, 18 December 2009

(v) Santa’s Involvement with International Ponzi Schemes

In what has to be one of Claus most dastardly schemes he created an international Ponzi scheme, ‘Crinkle’s Christmas Cash Cornucopia’, which played on the fears of many middle/lower income families facing the credit crunch in the run up to Christmas. When the full extent of the credit crunch became common knowledge and investors tried to withdraw their money Claus transferred the money to his creditors and other Swiss accounts he had opened.

Upon deeper investigation by Dr. Freamon, remaining funds were allocated to twelve departments and seven subsidiaries. Each of these were headed by Claus who had sole authorisation and access to the accounts. The Cornucopia was referred to by Private Eye magazine as a "Christmas Tree Pyramid Scheme" In an effort to appease a Commons Select Committee, He agreed to transfer responsibility for access to others. However, each of these nineteen were under the names of his different aliases.

(vi) Turf War

In 2006, People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals group condemned the strategic genocide of the mammal Leporidae. Splayed and eviscerated rabbits were found the previous December, stretching from the Nordic regions, Canada, across Russia, Algeria, China and South America. Later, suspicions were aroused that this was some form of Satanic abuse with links to Al-Qaeda. However, analyses from Norad and then Google Earth revealed an astonishing pattern.

The 'J' pattern of bodies found in the Australian Dreaming is a reference to the intended recipient, Jesus. It has since been confirmed by Ecumenicipol that Claus sent the warning message in his position as godfather, as a reminder to rival Christ to stay off his turf.

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